The sea was rougher than ever before. The wind shook the children like they were tooth picks, but there was a calling. A calling for the water men of the world. A calling only heard by the real adventures. The kids felt unusual, they felt an urge. As the kids walked out onto the rocks, the crashing waves scared them but not enough to stop them from going. They walked out farther than ever before. A huge wave was coming straight for them, but, they didn’t move. The wave absorbed them and they were gone. They were brought to a new place, a place…
Please continue this story in the comments!
I love the word choice! Keep it Up
i think what you did was very creative and the story line was great keep up the good work.
thanks
I really like how all of your words flow together
.
thanks a lot
This story had really great word choice! The word choice really makes you wonder what is going to happen and want to come up with your own mystical or adventurous ending.
thanks to to end the story if you can
I like how you worded your story and the way you described how the kids felt.
thanks to to end the story if you can!
i like when kids felt the sand keep it up.
thanks man
I really like this because it has very good details, you explained things, and how you described things in this story. This story has details on how it would be like if you were there.
Hey Thanks a lot
I like how you made the story so people could make the rest up themselves!
thanks try to finish it
…They were brought to a new place. A place vast with nothing but blue and beautiful buildings towering higher than any eye could see. The kids didn’t know what they were seeing but were amazed. They also noticed that they were still under water but could somehow breath….
This story is amazing there is no telling what someone could do with this. You really should continue it.
Hello!! nicholasisd20 i like your post because you used great voice. You had used very interesting words that pulled me in.
Love the story,it made me think of all of my friends and me playing games with each other and all of my story’s books I have read.
Your word choice is tremendous!
I love the suspense you left at the end, it really leaves us hanging wanting more. This reminds me of the Stephen King movie, Children of the Corn where the kids just get a calling from this strange kid named Isaac
The Words make this story visible in a way and the alliteration was nice too.
i thought it was a good story all around your word choice the story really sounded good and the story really flowed together i was want to read more
i thought it was a good story all around and your word choice was good in the story and your story flowed really good together and it just sounded really good
Loved the vocabulary! Will you write more?
I love the way you made this so suspenseful and described they way the children acted and reacted to things. Where did you come up with this idea?
Dear Nicholas,
I really appreciate your use of word choice and language features. Your story had an amazing amount of suspense to it, which I really value.
This is how I would finish the story:
They were brought to a new, new place called,” Atlantis.” There were statues of kings and queens, pictures that were partially disintegrated but intact. Then “Boom!”
Guards appeared, they wore seaweed armour and had gills. They held weapons that looked like humongous forks.
” Would you like to come into our land?” one guard asked, sweetly.
” Welcome,” another guard said.
From then on the kids grew up in Atlantis becoming smart, intelligent,’ Alanticans.’
That is how I would finish the story. Please go check out my blog:
http://jenny6wildy.edublogs.org/
Thankyou,
Jenny.
Your story is amazing! I love how descriptive you were. I love the part where you said ” The kids felt unusual, they felt an urge.” I like how you didn’t just put that they had a feeling. You used a more powerful word, urge.
I like how you used a simile to explain what went on to the children in the passage. keep up the good work!!
i love then word choice in it and it don’t sound boring at all with words
I like that it is something that involves a little adventure.
The sea was rougher than ever before. The wind shook the children like they were tooth picks, but there was a calling. A calling for the water men of the world. A calling only heard by the real adventures. The kids felt unusual, they felt an urge. As the kids walked out onto the rocks, the crashing waves scared them but not enough to stop them from going. They walked out farther than ever before. A huge wave was coming straight for them, but, they didn’t move. The wave absorbed them and they were gone. They were brought to a new place, a place that was warm and sunny where the children could play all day and not think about all of the bad things that have already happened to them. A place where the could think in the sounds of the chirping birds, the rustling of the tall palm trees, and the sounds of the rough waves. A place that they could empty their brains. The place was a warm. A place that they had never seen before. The place was a tropical island with bananas as yellow as the sun and coconuts as brown as coffee. And at night the stars would twinkle so much, that was the only light they had.
This is my continuation for your AMAZING story.
I like your story and I find it very interesting.
I like your story. It really requires the reader to think. We used to have to do this everyday. How do you think the story will end?
I think they will be on a new place called “Atlantis”. Good job with wording the story.
Hello, Nicholas, my name is hmsbrady I really enjoyed reading your story because It is very interesting and it had a hook. I also like the suspense you put in the end and that we could continue your story. I thought It was a really great part of a story. Please write more of these so I may read them.
-Thank you!